ABOUT ME ME ME

Hi 3 A.M.er’s and the just curious…so….I’m sure you are wondering, what is this web site? What is the 3 a.m. club? Who am I and why am I doing this? Why am I awake at 3 a.m? What’s in the refrigerator since I can’t sleep? Why do the dogs always stare at me like an alien as I pace the house?

A little background. My name is Gary Bollrud. I live in the Ormond Beach area of Florida. A former Californian. (Still miss it it in some ways.) Born in Long Beach Ca. Lived with my beautiful spouse Brenda in Folsom Ca. for many years. We are empty nesters now. I think that’s where my monster sized mid life crisis started, when our youngest left the house several years ago. I have been in an existential crisis pretty much ever since. Searching for peace of mind. For direction. And hearing the life clock ticking relentlessly in my head.

I won’t bore you with too many details about me. (I’ll publish some fun childhood stories when I blog; good times! Police, domestic violence, moving, alcohol, and little league) Suffice to say that I’ve always been a night owl by nature. I think it started when I was young, and my parents owned a roadhouse bar. I spent many nights there, sometimes till closing, drinking cokes, playing pool with sketchy people, playing the jukebox. My little brain became used to the rhythm of the night. Night people were different…more edgy, eccentric, interesting, dangerous, intelligent, creative. Mornings? They always sucked. Gave me anxiety, yuck….school….peer pressure, florescent lighting for God’s sake… was not a fan of the daytime as a kid. So the cast was set.

I have a lot of problems with sleep. Anxiety, bouts of depression, over thinking, ruminating over problems real and perceived. It’s a lonely, scary feeling…in the middle of the night. I turned to Facebook, to scroll, to meander through people’s posts, to see that there were others out there posting at weird hours… to do anything that would occupy my over heated mind from melting down.

I started thinking to myself, damn, it’s almost like a big club out there in the world, that is lurking while “the normal people” sleep away blissfully. It’s….well…the 3 a.m. club…because that seems to be the magic hour of either you are up too late for some reason, OR, you are up too early for some reason. It’s just not a proper hour, like, say…3 p.m. It exists on it’s own island. 3 a.m. is the black sheep of the clock.

So I made a Facebook group called “the 3 a.m. club” on a sleepless whim one night. I might have been imbibing a little. Invited a few friends in. And it has started to take on a life of it own. Still in it’s infancy, but I can see there is a need, a connection to kindred spirits that the page brings together. So I want to expand on this concept with this web site and blog. To hear out others, support each other, to review possible answers to the reasons why we do this to ourselves. Would like to post about remedies, reviews for products. Links to support pages. Wherever this goes. Pull up a chair, grab some coffee if you hell bent on not sleeping at all, because it might be 5 o’clock somewhere, but it’s 3 a.m. in here. Excuse me while I nap.